Every year, will it be like this every year? Will my Mother's Day be forever tainted by the feelings I have right now? The Saturday before Mother's Day I knew he was gone. I just knew. I thought I felt him move on Mother's Day, but it wasn't him, just some muscle spasms. False hope and nothing more. He was dead inside my womb, he was gone. And now I have that to remember how I as fooled. Damn false hope. Trying to convince myself that my baby was still alive while knowing he was gone.
I have other children. Yet, I can't find a way to feel happy about them. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and all Iw ant to do is be in bed. Please. No church. All the babies and the "Happy Mother's Day" wishes. How can I be happy when the anniversary of my son's death is in less than a week? How?!?!?