Drowning in sorrow

That is how I feel right now, like I am drowning in sorrow.  Colm was due this week coming up, either the 3rd of Sept or the 6th depending on who you asked.  He was due in less that a week.  Both C and E came about 1.5 - 2 weeks early, so he most likely would have been here by now.  I would be on my maternity leave, he would be sleeping in his co-sleeper next to my bed.

His small, lovely, warm body to cuddle with, his wonderful baby smell.  I will never get to experience holding him warm and breathing.  Never.  

I want my baby boy back.