Bleh

Today not so great.  I feel like I am so high one minute and then in the dumps again a little while later.  It was church that did me in today.  I just felt so sad and lost.  I started to feel like I just needed to leave, but I couldn't.  Evie was being a little noisy so Dave took her to the back.  Caro and Mike were in children's church and Pat was pretending to be sick.  So I was all alone, crying.  I wanted to leave, I needed to run, but I made myself stay.  Feelings of anger and hatred are what I felt.  Even when I received communion I felt like I was just so angry, then of course I felt guilty for receiving when I was angry at God.  Crazy, huh?  Darn Catholic guilt.

So still I cry.  Dave asks if I am okay, and I say yes.  He knows it is a lie, but there is nothing he can do to make me feel better, so what else can I say.

Today, not so good.  Tomorrow, better?  Maybe.