Today and yesterday were pretty good for the most part. We had to pick up Colm's remains today and even that wasn't too bad. His box/urn is small, so it will fit in the memory box I have.
Patrick had an art show at his school tonight, he had a water lily painting on display, it was nice and totally in his 'style'. As we were getting redy to leave I just got sad. I don't know what triggered it. But I felt so very sad. The feeling is lingering right now.
All I can think is I don't want a box. I want my baby. I want to see him grow up. I want him. So now it is a bit sad. I feel sadness in my heart, and I miss him.