Speaking of maternity leave. It seems weird to call it that. Yes, I gave birth, I labored for 12 hours, 4 of those pretty painful to where I thought about taking some IV drugs. But, without a baby it doesn't feel like maternity leave. It is such a sad thing.
I didn't cry as much as I thought I would today. It was hard, and I didn't want to say goodbye, so I didn't. And I really would just like to have him back...my baby. I miss him and I don't really even know him.