I want to tell my story, to tell all of it and to let the world know how I feel. Yet, at the same time I don;t want to seem whiny and irrational, like a child trying to get attention. I want to talk about how it feels knowing that no one else, not even my husband understands how I feel, just as I don't understand how he feels. I want to shout to the world how rudely I was treated by my doctor, and how wrong I feel it is the way I am treated by my work.
Why do I realize that it is birth, why can't they? Why is maternity leave only for those who have a living baby? Why am I expected to return to work less than three weeks after I delivered my child into this world? Because I didn't take him home? Because he didn't breath? Because his little heart stopped beating at 24 weeks? My pain is still real. I still feel the effects of giving birth, and I still need time. I need all the time in the world, and I will never ever get it.